3 Big Ideas for Avoiding Emotional Eating Around the Holidays

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You are so looking forward to your upcoming holiday parties, but dread the fear factor. We can all empathize that holidays bring mixed emotions even for people who don’t have a history of emotional eating. But for those who are prone to eating other than in response to physical hunger, it can be one of the most difficult seasons of the year.

Big idea number one: make a plan for attending holiday parties while avoiding binge eating (or emotional eating)

Here are a few tips around the big idea of making a plan:

• Don’t go to a party on an empty stomach. Always grab a fruit or a healthy snack beforehand, so that you are not really hungry heading out the door.
• Set reasonable expectations so that if you want to taste something novel or try a favorite food, you allow yourself to do that in moderation; instead of wrongly thinking you are being “good” or perfect in refusing all delectables, try a small taste of treats you may really enjoy.
• If you cannot be disciplined in taking a small portion at this time, do some positive self-talk before you head out. Your inner dialogue might be something like this:

“I know there will be lots of foods that tempt me. I know that I might want to eat more than I really need. I don’t have to do that. I’m not being sequestered to a desert island or having my last meal before execution. There will always be enough. There will always be enough.”

Big idea number two: You want to count something? Instead of calories, how about blessings?

It can be humbling and joyful to focus on the joy of your relationships and the sweetness of life, and less on the food.

Start a gratitude list. It is an uncanny coincidence that in addition to all the varied foods that are trotted out at holiday time, there is also an onslaught of direct solicitations for charities.

I was going through a mini-mountain of mail this morning. Included in a local newspaper article was an overview of how people from all walks of life in nearby towns helped out the more unfortunate victims of Hurricane Sandy. Just reading about the outpouring of support made me realize how fortunate I was, and by extension, how fortunate most of us are who did not lose our homes, our lives, or our loved ones.

When you start to think in terms of what is really important, and you start to appreciate your health and work you way down from there … everyone can start a gratitude list for the people they care about, and the experiences they relish.

Focus on the people who have contributed to who you are today, because nobody gets to where they stand by paddling alone. Reach for the phone and call someone. Volunteer your time in a meaningful way.

After all, if the food had previously provided comfort, you are going to need something else to channel those comforting feelings, and most people get that satisfaction from their connectedness to others, and an attitude of reflective gratitude.

Listing what I am thankful for helps me focus on the good.

Big idea number three: instead of eating while you are upset, journal, journal, journal: upload the feelings out of your head and onto the page.

We have covered two of the three most common scenarios for emotional eating at the holidays, including the party environment and the ordinary temptations of food that is around at home. But perhaps the toughest nut to crack is the ever-present feeling of helplessness that a person who is prone to overeating has when they are eating from “compulsion” or “stuffing” their emotions.

Time and again I deal with patients who have great insight gained from solving many problems they face in life, but feel unable to solve their emotional or even binge eating. I would venture to guess that oftentimes, they are upset at something and simply wish to avoid looking at what is causing the anguish.  It is a clever but harmful numbing technique. In the end, it is not a very satisfying way to anesthetize.

Rather than pushing the feelings and the pain away, it is better to try to drain the wound a bit. One highly recommended way is to write down what is making you upset.

You can do this in any number of formats. Use an online diary a la Google Docs. Or buy a beautifully embellished book that you tuck into your night table or purse. Other options include an app on your smartphone, where you can take notes.

Whatever format, the purpose is the same: It can be extremely cathartic to actually write about what is bothering you. It can take the pain down a notch. And in many cases, if you keep in mind your goal of living binge-free, and why it is your goal–what it represents for you—then as you finish writing, you can bring some closure to looking at the pain. In other words, you looked at the pain for the interval of time that you were writing, and then you were in control and chose to stop.

That little bit of “I wrote, I saw, I moved on” will give you the confidence to pass over the food, and make progress towards your goal.

Let me know in the comments other tips you may have for avoiding binge eating around the holidays.

Photos courtesy of Creative Commons 2.0, tempo (young woman) and rversde23 (gratitude list).